Why is Change so Difficult – Even Good Change?

11 Mar


Well, now that I’m here in my NEW house, in my NEW city – I can begin to reflect on the past few weeks / months, and different lessons and observations that I can pass along to my readers.

Of course, I don’t need to remind you that I’m no doctor, therapist, or scientist – so these are just observations and random musings of my own… (and I definitely didn’t Google to find any answers 🙂

So why is Change so darn difficult?

For some of us it’s harder than others … as for me, I’m in the “hate change” category. I like routine and predictability. This isn’t something that happened as an adult – but even as a kid I knew I couldn’t handle big changes. The first time I went to sleepover camp – the days leading up to my leave I was crying my eyes out …. And then I was crying my eyes out when I came back home. Now that I think back on it, it wasn’t that I was leaving home or leaving camp that saddened me – it was CHANGE. And after a day or two, I was fine. Back to normal, because I had settled in and was able to continue on.

I am SURE there is a term for it or a medical / scientific explanation – but I think it all comes from being “grounded.” I have only come to appreciate this concept recently, and now that I understand it, I am able to put things into greater perspective.

Let me give you an example:

When my husband left his job in the city – it was a HUGE change. HUGE. For the past 5 years (or so) he had been working in the SAME job, requiring the SAME hours, the SAME travel schedule, the SAME vacation days, the SAME predictability. (of course, except the salary that kept growing – which was easy to get used toSmile) We both knew he was going to be leaving soon and the only question was when his last day would be. I will never forget that day – it was a Friday and my hubby was BEYOND ecstatic to be finished. As for me, I was thrilled also! He was going to work from home, no more getting up at 5 am, no more coming home after dark – this was a dream come true! But yet, I felt weird. On the surface, I would have called this strange sensation “fear” or “worry.” And those terms could have easily fit – fear over possible money issues, worry that it will be bad having him home “too much” – but it wasn’t fear that I was feeling because I was genuinely happy over this change.

New Vocabulary Term: “Ungrounded”

It was a feeling of “ungrounded.” It’s the feeling that your world is turning upside down… it’s the feeling that you’re not standing on stable ground, but its shaky. It’s the feeling – to an extreme – like you’re floating in the air and you’re trying to grab onto something. (ok it’s an extreme example, but you see what I mean.) After I realized that that I was feeling wasn’t fear, but an unsettled feeling – well things automatically felt better. (slightly)

Ok What now? I feel ungrounded… what do I do about it?

In my opinion (gotta add that in there in case someone decides to sue me) – when you feel ungrounded, it really means that something is “off.” It means your “energetic” self isn’t strong and stable. (ooh, I’m beginning with the voo doo language here- bear with me). It’s a weird pit in your stomach – and you KNOW you’re not coming down with the flu, right? But something is “off.” That thing that is “off” is your bodies energies… plain and simple. You don’t need a Tylenol, or Echinacea. What you really need is to realign your body’s energetic systems to the new change that is happening.

So now the million dollar question – how do I re-ground myself?

Well, here’s something funny I noticed – and here is where I proved my theory correct. I felt MORE unsettled, more ungrounded when my husband left his job in the city – than I did with my ENTIRE move to Kentucky. Why? Well, for starters – I rested a LOT! No seriously, I knew how this unsettled feeling can really throw our bodies into a tizzy.

Aside from resting, I did “grounding” exercises. You can Google and find MANY. As for me, I have a bunch that I learned through practicing Energy Medicine. Think it’s all “voo-doo” and only for hippie type people? Sure, it sounds it – but they do in fact work. A couple of grounding exercises – 5 minutes is all you need – and you will feel more stable, more confident, more calm and literally – more grounded.

Sure, sometimes change is scary – especially if there are doubts involved or you’re not 100% sure things will work out – but oftentimes change is difficult even when it’s a good thing! So why then is change so difficult? It really isn’t … we’re just not always taught how to look at it in the right way…

And that concludes my very first post from my BRAND new bed… in my BRAND new house… in my BRAND new city. (For those wondering – I’m blogging from my bed because we don’t have a couch yet. And yes, we are currently accepting housewarming gifts Smile)

Your Turn: Do you ever feel “ungrounded?” What kinds of things do you do to help yourself feel “settled?”

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Posted by on March 11, 2011 in Emotional Health


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