Good Support is Hard to Find

17 May

There’s a website of women and moms to chat, share ideas and vent when needed. The other day a woman posted (anonymously) asking about support systems. Her post was pretty long, and I didn’t bother reading what her issue is, but she was basically asking what consists of a support system. Is a husband enough? Are doctors and therapists enough? Like I said, I didn’t really read her entire post explaining what she was going through – because after reading her basic questions I knew I had enough.

So, what exactly is a support system and how do you know if you have one? How do you know if the people who are supportive are enough, and if you need more?

In my opinion, if you’re asking, then you probably don’t have one. It would take me a fraction of a second to name my support system people – or as I like to call them “my rocks.” Each of my ‘rocks’ have different personalities and different purposes but together they make up one hell of a support system.

I guess when you have something good, you don’t always realize it. So I guess until I saw that post on the forum, I never really thought about how lucky I am to have friends that are truly supportive of me. It’s hard to imagine that there are people out there who really feel they don’t have friends. And I don’t mean people to chat with when you’re sitting in shul, or at the park, but there really are women out there, who feel like since they got married they somehow lost their deep friendships from way back then. It really makes you think and appreciate what you have.

While I can’t really give advice on how to create a support system if someone doesn’t have one, I can say how important it is to have friends and /or family that you feel you can count on. A friend of mine once told me that she rarely tells anyone about her situation simply because as people can be sympathetic and care, at the end of the day they just “don’t get it.” As loving and caring as they might be, they can’t help, or oftentimes say the wrong thing making the situation worse. But she told me that she has one or two friends that she can really confide in, trusts in, and feels comfortable that they won’t say anything stupid. (wouldn’t it be nice if everyone was like that? :)) All you really need is that one friend, or family member that you can lean on… a shoulder to cry on… a listening ear… an understanding heart… and most importantly – to give you a ride if you get stuck with a flat tire!

It is an extraordinary blessing to not only believe but to really know that there are people who will be there for you when needed. At a drop of a hat will help, or listen or whatever it is. I only hope that when the time comes I will be there for others as they are there for me.


Posted by on May 17, 2010 in Emotional Health


4 responses to “Good Support is Hard to Find

  1. Splattman

    May 18, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Like a rock, yeah like a rock 😉

  2. bex

    May 24, 2010 at 5:57 am

    Hello Deary, Found your blog on mr. splattman’s blog. Never knew.

    I have to disagree with you a little bit. One might not know what type of support system they had if they never needed the support. Sometimes things are just sprung onto us without us knowing where to turn, even though we have a whole slew of people, on call, waiting to answer and help. We just didn’t know how to make the shout out.

    And, I don’t think we need people to understand what we are going through as much as we need someone to be there behind us no matter what it is we are going through. To get through some bumps and not have people bailing on you, is in itself support.

    • mrsduby

      May 25, 2010 at 12:29 am

      oh no! I’ve been found out !!! 🙂
      Becky — so nice to have you visiting my blog …. what i find truly funny is that of ALL things to disagree with me on- this was hte last thing i thought you would go after. (have you read some of my other posts?) Just wait till i get into my anti- medicines / anti – vaccinations series -then we may have a serious war on our hands… (hence why i like to keep a low profile :))

      Thanks for reading !!!!

  3. bex

    May 25, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    oooooooooh Boy!!! Don’t know if I can continue to be a reader then my dear. Parents who don’t vaccinate make my blood boil. And anti depressants medication is a life savor for postpartum depression not to mention medicine for teething babies.


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